Have you found yourself improving on your personal development journey, only to have an event trigger you? You end up taking three steps backwards, judging yourself, and wondering if you can have self control.
First, I want you to know you never start over. And, that you knew you didn't meet your own expectations is proof of that.
Also, please know, there is nothing wrong! This is the journey, and the curved road is always going up.
Here are 4 questions you can use to get back on track when you are triggered:
What's wrong?
What's wrong with that?
How bad is it?
Why do you care?
Here is an example that recently happened to me while helping my daughter with her homework:
What's wrong?
What's wrong with that?
She shouldn't be crying. She needs to finish her homework.
How bad is it?
On a scale of 1 - 10, it is a 7 because I'm tired, it's 11:00 PM and her crying is causing it to take longer. I rolled my eyes when she started crying.
Why do you care?
She needs to go to bed so that she gets a good night's sleep.
Whereas, some people may get angry, maybe yell or force their child to abandon their homework, I was boiling over internally and rolled my eyes in frustration.
As soon as I felt the frustration, this questioning caused me to slow down and notice the circumstances that led up to the moment.
She had been at a dance convention and competition all weekend, and still trying her best to get her homework done after getting home late.
Her brain was shutting down because she was tired, yet she was determined to get it done. The crying was from the frustration of her fighting against her body.
I noticed I was frustrated because I believed she should not be crying. When I noticed this, I realized it was a lie. Of course, she should be crying because she was and there was reason for it.
If I didn't know to notice myself in the moment and be self-aware, I would have made the situation worse. How many of you have done this? Maybe you yelled or said things you didn't mean? What if this is a habit that leads to lasting damage to your relationships?
This was an example with my daughter, but how often do similar situations happen at work? With your peers? With your boss? Situations where someone else's behavior triggers you.
Self awareness ensures you are your truest self, not acting from a self-limiting belief.
As for my daughter, I sat quietly with her as she cried a little without judging her. She wiped her tears and got it done. She was so proud of herself for finishing.
After she finished, she said "I'm sorry, Mom, I was just really tired."
I trusted she was fine, and that she was doing the best she could in the moment. She didn't need me to make her feel better or worse. It was beautiful to watch her empower herself.
If you want to learn the skill of self-awareness, click the button below and let's talk to see if I can help you and your specific situation.
Go Beyond Better, Be Transformed!
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